Feeling a bit “meh”? You might be languishing.

Is it just me or do things in life seem a bit ‘willy nilly’, haphazard or random lately?  I am going about my days doing the work and family stuff that you do as an adult, connecting with my partner and snuggling with my dog.  Doing just about the same thing most days knowing while also knowing that I’m very fortunate and blessed in my life, yet still left feeling a bit empty, lost, uncertain and disinterested.  It has been a strange tension of emotions and feelings to experience, navigate and attempt to understand.

Anyone else feel this way?

While on a walk to take a breather and sort out these weird feelings I was having, I decided to tune into a podcast: The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos. 

That day I learned that this “meh” feeling is called languishing.

I came across an episode where psychologist Adam Grant was interviewed and he discussed this “meh” feeling he was experiencing and placed the label of ‘languishing’ on this feeling and it was like a light bulb went off in my head.  

A-HA!  This is what’s going on with me!

If you’re looking to understand more, check out the podcast: Fighting That “Meh” Feeling of Languishing

So I’m NOT the only one!

Apparently m a n y people are experiencing the same phenomenon as we emerge from two years living in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic.  No wonder things are feeling a bit muddled and foggy.  

Can you relate, too?

On the perpetual journey of becoming - thoughts on loving the person you are…now.

Not sure if you might be able to relate but sometimes I feel like I’m on a journey of becoming the person that I want to be next week, month, year….  Looking forward to when I lose weight, build muscle, my skin clears up, know more about something, renovate something in my home, until, until, until…

Does anyone else out there feel the same way?  

I find I’m often thinking about how things were, how things will be one day…but what about now?  

I must be missing out.

<This feels like a conversation I would have with myself in my teens or early twenties.  Not when I’m in my forties>

How do we stop and smell the roses?

I hear a lot about the power of meditation and I ‘thought’ I was meditating, but maybe I’m not doing it right….?  

(I’m not the only one that feels like this, right?)

I tend to fall asleep while I’m trying it out so maybe I might want to consider trying another method.

I find journaling helpful as well…but then I put it down and don’t pick it up for many weeks until the time when I start feeling unbalanced again.  I have recently decided to journal only five minutes per day so that the task seems less daunting - this strategy has been working so far…about 60% of the time.

What is the difference between having goals and aspirations versus discontentment?

Maybe the difference is if you may have goals to acquire or achieve ‘things’ but then true discontentment is when you’re really not happy about where you are at a certain place in time.

I have always felt it’s important to have goals, things to work towards, expecting more of yourself and wanting to grow.  I guess what I’m finding now is that I’m unhappy with how I am, the way I feel about things…and then the feelings I have about the feelings.  

So meta.  I know.

So why don’t I do the things that help me stay present?

I think that when I really put some deep thought into things, it’s a simple fact that I don’t make time for the things that help me stay present, feel balanced (emotionally and spiritually) and just feeling like the best version of myself.

I make time to brush my teeth, make meals, enjoy my coffee, go for walks…and those all seem like ‘essential things’ that I need to do daily to feel good and simply function.  So why do the other items seem to fall off?  Why is there a part of me that thinks that they’re just ‘not as important’?

Are the small things that seem unimportant actually some of the most important things that you can and should do?

I don’t have all of the answers.  I’m curious and really wonder if others have a similar experience to mine.

I was just paying attention.  I’m curious to hear your thoughts and ideas.

Thank you for reading and pondering.

I have been losing weight using Noom for one month. Here’s how it’s going.

Near the middle of February I decided to make a change with the relationship I was having with food.  I stepped on the scale one morning and was frightened by the number I saw.  It was then and there that I decided ‘enough is enough’ and I made a decision to take care of my health and wellness.   

Living and working through a pandemic led me to unhealthy habits and choices when it came to nutrition and I was ready to do something new.  Doing the same thing I was doing every day feebly ‘trying’ to make different decisions was clearly not working for me…and I was lying to myself thinking that everything was fine.

Why did I choose Noom?

I felt that the program that Noom offers best suited me with my current knowledge about nutrition and being active - I needed additional support around identifying WHY I choose to eat what I eat and WHEN I choose to eat.  I have successfully followed the WW program in the past and even signed up to the program throughout the pandemic, but something was missing for me and the pieces were not all coming together.  What was missing from the WW program is included in Noom: psychology.

Using the Noom app is super easy

Every day I can easily open my app to track meals and snacks, exercise, water intake and access recipes as well as my assigned Noom Coach and group chat with other fellow Noomers.  I love that my Apple Watch automatically inputs my steps every day into the app as well as the calories I have burned through physical activity.  

There are daily courses that you review and it takes about 5-9 minutes a day to do the readings.  I like how there is a bit of humour added in as well as some fun with quizzes and pictures.  There is also a feature where you can play the audio if you prefer to listen rather than read the content.

The app could use some refinements but overall it’s intuitive and I enjoy the new things I’m learning about psychology and food.  

So, how’s it all going then? I’m down 6.2 pounds.

I expected the first two weeks to be the most challenging - and they were a little tough but not as bad as I had imagined.  I am feeling like my clothes are fitting a bit more loosely, my stomach is getting less upset (I’m a sensitive lady after all…) and I can see how I’ve adjusted some habits that were not contributing to me feeling my best (...like a bowl of chips or some other treat most evenings).  I’m doing really well with tracking my foods and I’ve even started weighing items with my kitchen scale to be sure I’m getting the portions right so food tracking is as accurate as it can be.  Who knew portion distortion was such an issue for me?

What I didn’t expect is to see little plateaus so soon.  With Noom you weigh yourself daily.  That’s right, D A I L Y.  Monday.  Tuesday.  Wednesday.  Thursday.  Friday.  Saturday.  

And Sunday.

The purpose of the daily weight tracking is to get used to seeing the ups and downs…but man!!  It’s hard to keep a positive mindset when you see your weight sticking in the same 1lb range for a week.  It can feel disheartening but you just have to believe that all of the hard work you are putting in is for more than just the scale (this is where that whole psychology part is getting to me).  

I am wanting to make changes that stay with me for the long-term.  

To be honest, when I started Noom the good news is I had a lot of personal tools, knowledge and systems in place that are good for me.  Things just needed some adjustments to guide me down a different path than the bumpy one that I was happily (and blindly) following for two years.  Who knew pandemic life could be so stressful?

What the future holds…

Despite the fact that I do not have a crystal ball to see what’s coming up in my Noom life in the coming weeks, I just know that if I keep on doing what I’m doing…sticking to it…believing…doing my best…I’m going to see the results I desire (and deserve!) by about June this year.  Maybe it will come sooner (or later) but I know that I am important and this shift in my nutrition, thinking and habits is going to help me in the long run.

Do you have a Noom story to share?  Feel free to share yours in the comments, ask questions or just let me know if you’re curious to hear more updates in the future.

6 Tips for Selling Items on Facebook Marketplace

So you’ve been in the mood to do some spring cleaning and you have decided that you have several items that you would like to part with.  Whether it’s old toys your kids no longer play with, clothes that no longer bring you joy, books you are done reading, or that specialized kitchen appliance that you used three times and now it’s just taking up precious space in your cupboards…or an endless number of other things.  Nine times out of ten you will find that someone out there would love to be the new owner of your ‘I no longer need to have this around’ item.

You may want to consider trying to sell your previously-loved items before simply giving them away.

You may be surprised about the variety of items that people will actually buy from you on Facebook Marketplace. 

Sell your items for free, no charge, zero cost. Facebook is just happy you’re spending more time on their platform and sticking around a bit more.  

Below are some tips - and answers to come common questions - that have supported me with becoming a 5-star seller on Facebook Marketplace.  Some of the details may seem like common sense, but we all know that common sense isn’t always that common…right?

1. Create a short and sweet title for your listing

What you will find is that people looking to purchase your item may not always read the description box.  To have your ‘for sale items’ come up more frequently in searches and be  abundantly obvious to the buyer, include as much information as possible into the title of your listing.

Examples: 

DO = “youth book, Diary of a Wimpy Kid” 

DON’T = “book”

DO = “glass kitchen table with four matching chairs, 40in x 40in, solid wood base”

DON’T = “table and chairs”

DO = “IKEA wire shelf with four drawers, 24in long x 24in wide x 48in tall”

DON’T = “shelf and drawers”

**bonus points for when you can find the actual name of the IKEA item you are listing.

2. What kind of photos should I include?

Simply use the camera on your smartphone and take detailed pictures of your item for sale.  Usually posting more than one photo with various angles helps the buyer get a better idea of what they may be purchasing. If the item for sale is damaged in any way, disclose this information in the item description as well as through a detailed photo clearly displaying the wear, flaw or damage.  Being upfront and clear about the condition of your item is important.

3. How do I figure out how to price my items for sale?

Start with a quick search on Facebook Marketplace to see how other sellers are pricing similar items to yours.  Next, take to the interwebs and do a Google search to see what retailer websites sell your item using the brand name of your item as well as description.  

If you skip the initial step to do quick research on how to price your items, this could cost you a lot of money.  Collectible and nostalgic items are HOT these days - take the extra minute or two to do some quick searches so you aren’t missing out.  If you find you are getting five messages within the first five minutes of posting your items, you likely have it priced too low and other people are hoping you won’t notice.

If the item you want to sell is brand new or in excellent condition (AKA barely used) then pricing at half of the retail value usually results in an item being sold pretty quickly…sometimes within an hour.  

Sometimes your best market research on guessing the selling value falls a bit short and you have an idle item in your listings where you haven’t received any messages asking about your posting.  This could be one of two problems: 1) the item is not priced correctly or 2) the item is not a desired item (and so fewer people are actually searching for it).  We know that a proper description isn’t the problem as this was solved with the tips above, right?

4. My items are not selling…now what?

First step, lower your price.  If you are not receiving at least one question about your item from a potential purchaser within 1-3 days, your item may not be priced properly.  Sometimes we may know the true ‘new purchase value’ of an item but you need to remember that an item is only worth what someone is willing to pay. 

You may have better luck with moving items more quickly when you post them over a weekend time-frame like Thursday, Friday or Saturday.  I have noticed that I have quicker pick-up times when items are posted closer to the weekend. This may be because people may have some extra time and then arrange their schedules to pick up their purchase from you.

If ensuring your item has a proper description (so that it can easily appear in searches) or lowering your price has not resulted in messages from any interested buyers, then maybe…just maybe…nobody wants your stuff. 

This happens and it’s okay.  

When I cannot find a buyer for an item I have listed within a certain time frame, I then post the item for free in trading/no-sell Facebook groups or donate to a local organization that accepts used items.

5. How to close the deal and settle on a selling price

Your buyer says they are interested but want to pay you half the price of what you have listed your item for.  Ummm…no.  If you have done your research on pricing you know the value of your item.  You can tell this person that there are ‘others interested in the same item’ (as you will typically have more than one person messaging you to ask questions) and you state what dollar amount you are willing to accept.  

If you have been sitting on this item for a week or more, then you may want to consider the offer more seriously.  Sometimes your first offer is your best offer.

6. And what about those ‘no-shows’?

Well, this will happen.  It comes with the territory of buying and selling so don’t be surprised when it happens to you, too.  

To avoid these annoying situations, consider listing your item and stating in the description things like “no holds”, “quick pick-up” or any other variety of words that suggest that you're not wanting to sit around and wait for someone to get their ‘poop in a group’ to get over to your place and pick up the item they want.

So is all this fuss really worth it?

Sure, you will need to invest your time, flex your photography skills using the camera on your smartphone, create a clear and concise listing and then communicate with potential buyers through the Facebook messenger app.  Each listing will take you about 3-5 minutes to create and post and about the same amount of time to arrange pick-up/drop-off of your listed items.  

If you are interested in keeping some of the hard-earned dollars you have, then yes.  

If you are interested in selling your children’s items to teach them about earning money in other ways, then yes.

If you are interested in helping your children identify when they are done with a past favourite item/toy/collectible that they can sell for a profit and keep the new-found funds, then yes.

If you are looking for a way to generate additional money to donate to a cause/charity that means a lot to you, then yes.

There’s no harm in trying - you may be pleasantly surprised with the outcome.

**Remember to be a cautious and careful seller.  Do a Google search to become familiar with tips for selling items online safely.**

Losing weight in 2022 - time to say ‘bye-bye’ to those Pandemic Pounds

We have all been living through a pandemic since early 2020 you may have had an initial thought that ‘oh, this will only be two weeks’ (or at least that’s what I thought).  Boy - was I WRONG or what?!  It felt like I had to keep saying to myself, “ok, I can do this for 4 more weeks”...and then when lockdown and closures were extended again, and again,

and a g a i n.  

Not only was I living through a pandemic but my full-time job was 100% focused on everything to do with COVID-19.  This means that I was committed to being immersed in everything that was turning the world upside down for 40+ hours every week on top of then living my own personal and family life through all of the chaos. 

And yes, it was c h a o t i c.

Coping during the chaos wasn’t easy

I’m sure many people can relate to the idea that there is only so much we can take and then we turn to the things that comfort us - my comfort was food that I enjoy indulging in.  Doing these little ‘oh I deserve it’, ‘I’ve had a hard day’, or just ‘I’m emotionally and physically exhausted’ lead to me reaching for foods that I know are not the best for me - but they sure did taste good at the time!

If making healthy food choices is easy, then why can’t I just do it?

This was the magic question I kept running around in my mind.  I’m a smart woman, I know what to do, but I just could not muster up the confidence and will power to STOP my bad habits and START some new ones.  

I have lost weight in the past after the birth of both of my children.  I know all about healthy food choices, bad food choices, being physically active…but I found myself just not caring.  I was spent.  I kept rationalizing that ‘it’s not that much weight’, but it was enough to make me feel less comfortable in my own body - I just felt like I looked different…and I felt different.  Not feeling good in your own body is not a feeling I am enjoying.

Maybe it was all of the emotional exhaustion.  

Maybe I was just not willing to make a decision about taking care of myself and sticking with it.  

Maybe I just didn’t care at the time.

I felt like I was rewarding myself with delicious and indulgent food…and that leads me to where I am.

Time to clean out my closet…literally

Last weekend, after a full day of removing all of my clothing from my closet and tearing out my old closet shelving, I was able to install a new closet system. I was reminded of the clothes that I wore before 2020 landed upon us.  Pre-pandemic I worked in an office setting wearing business-casual attire and this was swapped out for work-from-home gear including leggings, comfy clothes, fuzzy slippers and cozy socks. 

I was looking at my wardrobe and was not confident I would be able to fit into the clothes I wore in 2020.  

And then I decided to step on the scale…

To say I was mildly horrified by the number on the scale would be accurate.  

I could not believe that I was approaching a weight I was at just after having my children 10+ years ago.  No way, no how!  

I was not going to allow this to go any further.  I needed to stop telling myself little lies about ‘I deserve this’ because what it was really doing was adding to my discomfort and negative thoughts towards myself and my body.  And why was I lying to myself?  I deserve better than that.

I made a decision.  I had to do SOMETHING.  My ‘Amber Plan’ (AKA let me eat some healthy foods ¾ of the time and stay active) for the last two years clearly was not working for me.  I needed structure (but not too much) and I needed to be able to easily access the information and support I needed when I needed it.  I needed accountability and a process to follow - I can follow instructions if I really need to…and I need some instructions right now.  

{Enter stage left}

I decided to try Noom.

Noom?  Is that a typo?

Nope.  The Noom website describes their program as one that provides ‘long-term weight loss that includes lifestyle changes to help people live healthier lives through behaviour change’.  Basically you learn about why you eat what you eat when you want to eat….and then consider how you might make other choices that lead to improved nutrition overall…or so this is my understanding so far. There’s a bit more to the program and I’m learning more as the days go by.

So, how’s it going then?

I dove into Noom one week ago and so far I’m enjoying the process. What I’m learning about has increased my mindfulness about the foods that I’m choosing to fuel (or treat) is something new.  I’m not looking for perfection here at all - I’m looking for progress.  So far I’m down 3.5 pounds (1.6kg) and I’m feeling really good about how things are going.  I’m excited to keep going as the results so far have really surprised me and I know that NOW is my time to take care of myself.  And I’m worth it.

If you’re feeling curious about learning more about Noom you can either search google and do a bit of reading on your own…or if you’re feeling more ready (like me) to put yourself first, here’s a discount link.

To be continued…?

If readers are interested in hearing more or about my journey to lose 25 lbs, I can provide more updates with what is going well, what’s not going well, and what I’m doing to keep going.

Thanks reading. Feel free to leave any positive thoughts or curious questions in the comments.

The Art of Picking Your Battles

Have you ever been in a heated discussion with someone where you know for sure that your viewpoint on a topic is 100% irrefutably true, yet the other person wants to argue their point endlessly even though they are WRONG?

How do you just drop the conversation and move on without feeling super annoyed and aggravated?

It’s easy: it’s all about the art of picking your battles.

The Battle Begins

Sometimes this disagreement can be with a family member.  I recently had a ‘pick your battles’ argument with my son - he is twelve years old.  Sometimes as a burgeoning tween (...I hear that full-blown teens are the same way), he feels that he knows much more on a topic than his wise mother…even when it is a topic of expertise being part of the knowledge acquired through my full time job as a nurse.

Each of us argue our points and I can see very quickly that nobody is going to ‘win’ this argument (although my son surely believes he is winning).

Just Hear Me Out

During disagreements I have often found it helpful to seek to understand the other person’s perspective (I have the author Stephen Covey to thank for that tidbit of wisdom - The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People).  I find once I say something along the lines of “I’d like to hear what you have to say so I can understand your point of view”.

Sometimes I hear about a point of view that I hadn’t considered because I do not have the insight of a 12 year-old; I end up learning something new or thinking about a situation in a different way.  Other times it’s just a bunch of ‘gobble-dee-goop’ that is not grounded in any type of reason or sensibilities which leaves me feeling like throwing my hands up in the air.

<Enter the skill of picking your battles>

Ask yourself: what is the advantage of winning this argument?

If there really is no added benefit and no harm done by engraining your perspective and knowledge upon the young man who is still learning, then this is your opportunity to just ‘let that sh!t go’. 

Let it go.

It will simmer in the young mind and you may find that something magical happens: he will end up agreeing with you in the end after he has had some time to cool off and the discussion has had some time to air out.

He may not come to you with a warm hug and an apologetic ‘I’m sorry.  You were right, Mom’ look in his eyes, but as the Mom, you will just know that he is reluctantly and begrudgingly accepting your point of view.

Let’s be clear - this will NOT happen all the time.  But maybe just a few key arguments that you have can set the tone for having open conversations about disagreements on a variety of topics over the years.  

Maybe by picking your battle you can avoid a yelling match where nobody leaves the argument feeling fulfilled.

Maybe by picking your battle you can see that you don’t have to ‘win’ an argument.  

Sometimes choosing to discontinue arguing is the best thing that can be done for all participants.

It’s okay to walk away.

End note

Sometimes we can have arguments with people and we need to put some strong and realistic boundaries in place to protect ourselves.  The aforementioned scenario is not one of these situations requiring said boundaries.

6 Steps for How Beginners Can Start a Blog in 2022

So you are thinking about starting a blog, right?  That means that we both have something in common.  Blogs are an easy way to be creative, get your thoughts and ideas out into the world, connect with new people, and even make some money (once you get up and running).

I took several hours of my time to do some research online to compile some steps that are suggested by other blogging and YouTube channels on how to get going.  This is what I learned…

1. Decide how often you will create a blog post and STICK TO IT

There is no point in going through the effort to start a blog if you cannot figure out how you might work your writing, posting and creating into your life.  It is okay to take some breaks here and there, but time and time again, I heard other creators say that ‘being consistent is key’...and this consistency was creating a blog post at least once a week when you’re getting started

2. Consider different genres and niches that are appealing to you

There are SO many possibilities for what you can write about - you might as well choose a topic you are passionate about so that your interest and energy can shine.  Many creators talk about ‘niching down’, meaning selecting a topic area and then getting more specific as you continue on your creative journey.  An example of this would be if you are someone who really likes to cook, you may start with writing about cooking anything and everything, and then eventually ‘niche down’ to a certain style, taste or theme like ‘$5 dinner ideas’.

In the beginning just put the emphasis on writing on topics you are passionate about - you will find that you develop your own style and preferences for the topics you choose to write more about.  At the same time you will be growing your audience of readers who will offer feedback on what content they like to read and click on.

3. Select a domain name

Choosing your website name can take a bit of time and that’s okay!  It’s important!  It’s all about you, what you like, what might be catchy…and then what is actually available.  You can check if the domain you are thinking about is available using free sites like Google Domains (domains.google.com).  Plunk in a domain idea and then in seconds you will know whether it is available and there are many, many, MANY different domain endings you can choose from, but from what I learned, using a “.com” domain is the best choice for trust and recognition from your future audience. 

You may find it helpful to compile an album for screenshots of domains that you search.  This will help making the final choice a bit easier as you can easily delete any that just don’t seem like the right fit for you after you have put together a bunch of different options.

4. Remember your socials

Think about which social media platforms you may want to consider using and some tools you will want to search for name availability.  You may want to do this about the same time as when you are trying to decide on your website name.

The most common social platforms that are highly recommended by other creators are Pinterest, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and TikTok. You don’t need to take a deep dive and sign up for all of them, but you will want to consider how you may want to let the world know that your blog and website are up and running.  Oh yeah, and remember the importance of an email address as well.

5. Choose a website host provider

Depending on your skill and comfort level with website design will influence which hosting provider you will choose.  If you are someone like me where you do not know a lot about website design, you may like Squarespace (this is the ‘easy peasy’ route).  They have a lot of templates that are ready to go and you can modify them to suit your personality, style and needs.  

If you have a bit more knowledge about website design, you may want to register your domain with a company like bluehost and then you can host and create your website through WordPress.  You may want to choose to purchase a design that has already been created within WordPress if you do not know how to start a website from scratch.

6. Post your first blog!

I’m sure there are lots of other things you can fuss around with when getting started, but remember not to get too lost in the weeds.  The important thing is to get these basics sorted out and then just…start….writing!  Things do NOT need to be perfect from the start and you will refine things as you go.

Here are some helpful YouTube channels that I followed to get some tips to get started - some of these creators also have discount codes for bluehost, Squarespace or WordPress: Ali Abdaal, Mia Brox, By Sophia Lee